Joe Biden, FDR & Television

Democratic Vice-Presidential candidate Joe Biden believes Franklin Delano Roosevelt solved the Great Depression by appearing on television in 1929.
FDR wasn't president and nobody had a television.

Joe Biden is dangerously close to being abducted by aliens.

Sarah Palin & Chevy Chase

So, Chevy Chase has seen fit to weigh in on Sarah Palin, saying, in reference to Tina Fey's Satruday Night Live portrayal of the Republican Vice-Presidential candidate, that he hopes Ms Fey "decimates her." Thus indicating that he would like to see Ms Palin reduced by 1/10th.
It's called a dictionary, Chevy. Crack one open every once in a while.

I only hope that Ms Fey will be able to bring the same rapier-sharp wit and cutting satirical commentary to her impersonation of Ms Palin that Mr Chase brought to his impersonation of former President, Gerald R Ford.

Imagine me rolling my eyes...because I am.

Barack Obama's Top 10 Accomplishments

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"Hope & Change."

John McCain & Whoopi Goldberg

Whoopi Goldberg, while hosting Republican Presidential candiate John McCain on her show, The View, posed to him the following query, "Do I have to worry about being a slave again?"
You were once a slave, Whoopi? Wow.
Wouldn't it have been funny if McCain had replied, "Yes, Whoopi, I think you do have to worry about that."

Barack Obama & Woody Allen

Woody Allen says that if Barack Obama is not elected president it will be a shame and humilitation for America.
Yeah, well, I guess after marrying your daughter you tend to know a thing or two about shame and humilitation.
Thanks for chiming in, Woody.

Sarah Palin & Sandra Bernhard

Sandra Bernhard, in a weird context known only to herself, said Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin would be gang-raped by blacks in Manhattan.
Do you ever get the creepy feeling that someone is projecting their own sick sexual fantasies onto others?
Yeah, I thought so.

Barack Obama & The Economy

As America's economy crashes and burns, Barack Obama says he'll wait to reveal his recovery plan. This has two possible interpretations:
1. Hmm, guess it's not a good time to tell everybody about my secret, massive tax hikes.
2. I don't have a plan. I hope things get better soon.

He also says this is not the time to panic. Yeah, right, Nero.
He's wrong, of course. It's the perfect time to panic. And if you don't agree, then take a look at the declining value of your 401(k).

"Hope & Change."