Sunday, November 30, 2008

Bailing Out Your Rich Neighbor

It has become axiomatic: If you read the New York Times, you will read something stupid.

The title of Bob Herbert's column, Putting A Face On Big Auto, should be warning enough.
But if it's not, then the fact that's it's printed in the New York Times should remove any lingering doubt that what you're about to read will not be the economic case for bailing out Detroit's Big 3, but the emotional appeal, based on the anecdotal story of one good, honest, innocent, hardworking man, for keeping these sinking, mismanaged behemoths afloat with taxpayer money.

To wit, Mr Herbert's opening sentence, "If we were interested in making the best possible decisions with regard to the U.S. auto industry, someone like Rich Breen would be seen as the face of the industry, not the chief executives of General Motors, Ford and Chrysler."

(We'll ignore the fact that Ford chief, Alan Mullaly, was hired after the fact, and played no role Ford's decline).

The implication is clear: if we just knew Rich's story, that he's a real salt-of-the-earth, hardworking common man, we would open the federal money trough for the Big 3 and rain money down on them quicker than you can say, "Hey! There's gold in this pinata!"

Well, as the elite, main stream media would have it, that's exactly Rich's story!
Who'd a-thunk it!

Yep, Rich is a teamster, a car hauler who delivers new vehicles for the Big 3.
And, as it turns out, he's also an economist!
Wow! Wasn't the New York Times fortunate to find this guy!

Rich, putting on his Paul Krugman hat, tells us, "I see the tool and die industry dying in the light industrial areas. I see the clientele decreasing in the local barbershops, hardware stores and restaurants. I hear people saying if the Big 3 shuts down it wouldn't affect them. They have no idea. It would have a domino effect that we've never had before in the United States. The bottom would fall out and the ripple effects would go all over the country."

So, Rich is smarter than the rest of us, too.
Just like Paul Krugman!

But he ignores the basics, namely, demand for a product does not vanish just because an inefficient producer goes belly up. More efficient producers would step in to fill that demand.
And Mr Herbert admits as much, but he has different take on it, "Analysts have suggested that even if the Big 3 were to disappear, the foreign car makers would fill the vacuum, as if the cornerstone of American manufacturing -and everything it has meant and still could mean to American life and culture- were somehow disposable, like a worn-out paper bag. Get real."

Fine, here's real for you: My cousin works at a Toyota plant in Kentucky.

The foreign car makers are already stepping in, and have been for years.
It's just that the slope is a bit more steep now, which has served the role of further clarifying the situation.

But Mr Herbert throws a couple of numbers at us to convince us that good, decent, honest, hard working men are doing their part to save the country, "The UAW agreed to extraordinary contract concessions in 2005 and 2007. Starting pay for new hires at the Big 3 has been cut by 50 percent -to $14 to $16 an hour."
Which mean that new hires, until recently, were making $28 to $32 an hour.
That's about 4x the federal minimum wage.
And remember, that was starting pay!

Suddenly, I don't feel so good about bailing Rich out.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Dispensing With Kathleen Parker

In a turbid mess of disjointed , and ultimately unsupported, nonsense, Kathleen Parker, erstwhile rational human person, superciliously asserts in her column of November 19, 2008 that "religious conservatives are dragging down the GOP."

And, just in case you think she's only pulling your leg about those she has in her crosshairs, well, she dispenses with that idea by limning her targets as, "...the evangelical, right-wing oogedy boogedy...element that used to be relegated to wooden crates on street corners...the lowest brows."

Okay, just so we're straight on this, what's dragging the GOP down is not: fiscal irresponsibility on a scale not seen since FDR was dictator; the Jack Abramoff money scandal; the sordid personal sexual scandals of sundry senators; nor the GOP's general, and ongoing, ineptness in conveying its core economic philosophy, or even adhering to that philosophy.

No, none of that is dragging the party down.

What's dragging the party down, according to Ms Parker, are a few snake-handling Pentecostals and speaking-in-tongues Southern Baptists.

And propping up her theory?
Why, of course, it's the, by now, obligatory and gratuitous swipe at Sarah Palin.
Ms Parker submits into evidence the following as Exhibit A: (Sarah Palin): "I'm like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door. Show me where the open door is...And if there is an open door in 12 or four years later, and if it's something that is going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, and opportunity for me, then I'll plow through that door."

You are, at this point, expected to purse your lips and nod your head in agreement with Ms Parker. (And if you're Christopher Buckley this is exactly what you're doing).

But it isn't that Ms Parker thinks religion itself should be evicted. She simply prefers a kinder, gentler Christianity. A milder, quieter, more invisible Christianity. The kind of Christianity that doesn't challenge or risk know, the way Jesus did.
So much so, that it got his best buddy beheaded and himself scourged and crucified.

No, Ms Parker, ever the theologian, would have religion "returned to the privacy of one's heart, where it belongs."
Because, as we all know, Jesus was all about this romanticizing of the heart mush.
Or, perhaps I'm just not familiar with the Hallmark Card version of the bible.

Besides, Ms Parker finally, stupidly avers, all this noisy bible thumping accomplishes nothing anyway, because "the nonreligious won't get religion through external conversion. It doesn't work that way."
Because, as we all know, Jesus instructed the Apostles -Apostles!- to "go forth and tell no one what I've told you. "

But none of that is what ails the Republican Party or Conservatism.

Ms Parker gets it all wrong.

And so we dispense with Ms Parker.

Citizen Biden

So, it appears Hillary Clinton will be Obama's Secretary of State.
Which means, if Joe Biden falls any deeper into the background he's gonna need Orson Welles to bring him into focus.

Poor fellow.

(I feel like I channeled Dennis Miller a lil bit on that one)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Talent On Loan From A Lesser God

Headline-Britney Spears Feels Old And Boring.

Which is funny, because I thought she would feel only marginally talented.

Oh, well.

Big Fat Liberal Hypocrites

One day, earlier this year, my wife and I took our children to the green (the green would be the town green, a grassy area in middle of town, and quintessentially New England) so they could run and jump and play.
We were trying to be quintessential.

Anyway, we met another couple there who had brought their daughter there to play also.
So, naturally, we struck up a conversation, or conversations, as I spoke with the husband and my wife spoke with the wife. I don't remember their names, but let's call them Ben & Susie.

So, as I said I talked to Ben. We talked about his dog, Star; how they had recently relocated from Florida, bought a house in town, and renovated it. Just idle chit chat.

I didn't overhear what my wife and Susie were talking about, so my wife related the conversation to me as we walked home.

Of course, my wife had asked Susie where their daughter was attending daycare.
Susie replied that the little girl was attending a daycare in New Haven. Not because both parents worked in New Haven (they did), but because our town, now their town too, was too "homogeneous." Read: white. Star is the only non-white in their family.

Of course, my wife asked Susie where their daughter would attend school. Susie said the girl would be attending a local private school, which Susie really hated to do because she was "such an advocate for public schools."

We have never seen Ben & Susie again, but I will never forget them.

It's funny, in a way that makes me really angry, how these supposedly really serious liberals almost invariably do the opposite of what they preach is best for those who lack the resources they have.

I hope Star finds a good home.

Monday, November 24, 2008

France Capitulates...Yet Again

It doesn't take much to spook the French.

I'm pretty sure that if I met France in dark alley, I could make it give me its wallet.

So, it comes as no surprise that they have resumed their national tradition of pre-emptive capitulation.

And, I guess, when your resume consists entirely of a chronological list of those to whom you've given up, well, it doesn't really bolster your case for a profile in courage when you say, as French president, Nicholas Sarkozy did, "Deployment of a missile defense system would bring nothing to security in Europe."
Especially when you say this right after Russian bully Medvedev has just announced that he intends to install missiles really, super-duper to close to European Union borders.

What's really funny is that it's the Polish who should be surrendering.
And they would...but they're not French.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I Am Smarter Than T Boone Pickens

On July 23, 2008 T Boone Pickens, oil magnate/wind farm nut predicted oil would reach $300 per barrel.
It peaked at $147, and now resides in the $50-$60 range.

On October 11, 2008 I predicted the market would bottom out at 7500.
On 11/21/2008 it reached 7450 before rebounding.

Caveat: I am prepared to revise my prediction downward depending upon just how much Mr Obama wants to pattern himself after FDR

Sarah Palin Attends Ritual Slaying Of Birds

I guess there's a furor over a video circulating of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin being interviewed while, in the background, turkeys are being slaughtered for that grand American tradition of Thanksgiving.
I don't have time to investigate the story -no, that's not true, I have plenty of time; it's the inclination I don't have- so I'll just assume a couple of facts, then make some sweeping generalizations based on those assumptions.

I've seen the video, and my first thought was, Don't overcook your bird.
There's nothing worse than 20 people -some who have traveled thousands of miles- sitting around a table eating a dried out turkey. So, baste, baste, baste!

My second thought was, I love deviled eggs!

But, I digress.

First of all, the video isn't really funny,
Which is not to say that it didn't have some comic potential.
I would have had the Governor conduct the interview while she was slaughtering and dressing the birds. Just nonchalantly discussing policy as feathers fly.

Nor is anything infuriating about the video.
Without consulting a dictionary, I'm assuming that furor and infuriating are related.

I'm also assuming that those upset by the video are PETA types, Christopher Buckley, and Kathleen Parker.
I'm not sure what Mr Buckley and Ms Parker will be eating this Thursday, but I am certain that they'd love to see Mrs Palin's goose cooked!

Oh, well.
Let 'em eat cake!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

NASCAR & Politics

Now that the NASCAR season has concluded, I'm ready to focus on politics.

Has anything happened recently that I should know about?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

George Bush Is No Capitalist Pig...Damn Him!

Headline-Bush Warns Against Too Much Government In Markets.

Umm. Isn't this the same guy who just injected too much government in markets!?

"History has shown that the greater threat to economic prosperity is not too little government involvement in the market, but too much," said Bush.


He didn't explain how this philosophy-or, bullshit, if you will-jibes with his recent purchases of banks, insurance providers, mortgages companies, more banks, and...well, you get the idea.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

British Dying At Incredible Rate

Headline-No Room In British Graveyards.

So, the British will have to stop dying...with their characteristic stiff upper lip.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

How Many Stupid Americans Are There?

If you'd like an accurate measure of just how stupid Americans are, the AP provides it today in the form of a poll:
72% of all Americans believe Barack Obama will make the changes necessary to revive the stalling economy.

Republicans Can't Catch A Break

The good news for Republicans: Barack Obama will fail.

The bad news: He'll do this by causing a depression.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Joe Biden-Vice President

Here's hoping Barack Obama remains very, very healthy.

In addition to being an idiot, Joe Biden has spent roughly the last 30 years being a blowhard and senator from Delaware, a state rivaling only the Dakota without Mt. Rushmore in being irrelevant to this great union.

But not anymore.

Now he is the biggest mistake Barack Obama has made thus far.
A mistake which becomes more obvious the less we of Mr Biden.
And we're seeing a lot less of him lately.

The End Of America

Barack Obama's First Press Conference

BO: We are facing the greatest economic challenge of our lifetime, and we're going to to have to act swiftly to resolve.
Translation: If I act too slowly, you'll probably pick up on the fact that I'm socializing the country.

BO: We will review the implementation of the Administration's financial program to ensure the government's efforts are helping homeowner and not unduly rewarding the management of financial firms that are receiving government assistance.
Translation: Don't worry, Peggy Joseph, I'm gonna take all those Wall Street fat cat salaries and golden parachutes and use them to pay your mortgage and put gas in your car.

BO: It is absolutely critical that the Treasury work closely the FDIC, HUD and other government agencies to help families avoid foreclosure.
Translation: Lenders and borrowers are irrelevant in my version of Utopia.

BO: We cannot afford to wait on moving forward on clean energy, health-care, education and tax relief for the middle class.
Translation: I can get blood from a turnip.

Mr Buckley's Public Valentine To Sarah Palin

Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part V

Mr Buckley Is Obsessed

Never has a man been so obsessed with a woman without there eventually being a restraining order involved.

CB: As I type, a boatload of Bigfoot conservatives are aboard a cruise ship…
--Oh, c’mon, Chris. It could not have a come as a surprise that you weren’t invited to the National Review cruise.

CB: GOP pin-up girl Sarah Palin.
--Indeed! And the Democrats’ pin-up girl? Nancy Pelosi. Yes, cringe-worthy.

CB: I’ll stipulate that that’s condescending…
--No stipulation is necessary.

CB: Nexis and Google have failed to unearth evidence of any previous candidate for the US vice presidency being called by their own campaign, no less, a whack job.
--Which speaks more to Mr McCain’s campaign than it does to Ms Palin. Hey, you’re the one who had dinner with the guy.

CB: Gov. Palin…prepositionally challenged…
--Now, Chris, if you’re going to call it satire, you really should reach higher than this. You’re dangerously close to becoming Bill Maher.

CB: To quote the incomparable Christopher Hitchens.
--Oh, I can compare him to something!

CB: It would be pointless, to say nothing of downright idiotic…
--But you’re doing so well!

CB: Mike Huckabee, I believe Mr Hitchens dismissed him as a clown.
--Chris, please, give us an original thought. Or, at least link us to Mr Hitchens.

CB: In the special election to fill his Senate seat, Gov. Palin would be the likely winner…greatly enlivening things for those of us who make our living amidst the dark Satanic Beltway mills.
--The moment at which Christopher Buckley becomes a stalker.

Great Expectations

It’s About To Get Dickensian Up In Here

Peggy Joseph, perhaps better than any professional pundit, summed up the expectations many on the Left have for a Barack Obama presidency when she said, “I won’t have to worry about paying my mortgage; I won’t have to worry about gas in my car.”


I’m guessing that Ms Joseph either plans to marry Mr Obama, or be appointed to a post in his cabinet.
Failing that, Ms Joseph will still have to worry about paying her mortgage and putting gas in her car.

She, and others like her, are in for some hard lessons.

The president, it is true, can effect many changes.
But there are some things the president cannot do.
Let’s review those things the president cannot do.

He cannot go to school for you.
He cannot go to college for you.
He cannot go to work for you.
He cannot pay your mortgage.
He cannot put gas in your car.
He cannot marry your baby’s mama.
He cannot do your child’s homework.
He cannot sacrifice so that you can afford the best possible education for your child.

In short, ask not what Obama can do for you; ask how you can be more like Obama.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Lost In Translation

Is there a term in German to describe the feeling conservatives and Republicans will have the first time John McCain endorses one of Barack Obama's policies in the name bi-partisanship?

I'll bet there is.

Barack Obama Insults Nancy Reagan

Proof that if you stand too close to Joe Biden the gaffeness rubs off.

Seeking to establish his bona fides as the first "post partisan" president, Mr Obama evidently thought it would be a really good idea to insult the widow of the man most conservatives and Republicans to be the best president in living memory by accusing Nancy Reagan, widow of former president Ronald Reagan, of holding seances in the White House.

Which was a really stupid thing to say, because Nancy Reagan never held seances in the White House.

He apologized immediately.

So, let's look at the scorecard: One press conference; One stupid comment; One apology.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Barack Obama Hires Unkown As White House Mouthpiece

Barack Obama has named Richard Gibbs as White House Press Secretary.

I am completely ignorant of Mr Gibbs, but he's a communist.

Mr Gibbs' official duties will include blaming Republicans; explaining how a tax increase is a tax cut; blaming George W Bush; denying William Ayers slept in the Lincoln bedroom; blaming rich people; and explaining the difference between a recession and a depression.

Hope & Change or More Of The Same?

Barack Obama has chosen as his Chief Of Staff Rahm Emanuel.
Mr Emanuel is a former Clinton toady who is presently a representative in Congress from the state of Illinois.
He is also, according to those closest to him, an all-around asshole.

Hope & Change or More Of The Same?

The Great Financial Crisis Of 2008

Headline-Richard Fuld, Lehman Brothers CEO, Terminated.

And not a moment too soon! Otherwise, this man might have bankrupted the company.

I will admit, though, to being a bit surprised upon learning this news; I didn't know you could fire Satan.

But, on the bright side for Mr Fuld, maybe he'll now qualify for one or two of those Obama tax credits.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Great Financial Crisis Of 2008

The economy is in such a bad state that Delaware Senator Joe Biden had to get a second job, that of Vice-President.

Poor fellow.

Play Misty For Me

Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part IV

CB: (On Obama's victory) Okay, okay. Forgive me for being a bit giddy.
--I'm beginning to think you have a crush on Mr Obama.

CB: I must soon revert to my quondam role as abuser and ridiculer of those in power.
--That's not gonna get you your job back at National Review.

CB: Man, that son-of-a-gun can give a speech.
--Get a tingle up your leg?

CB: I can hardly wait for the inaugural.
--Oh, I'm sure you're invited, Judas.

CB: You make -this is absurd, my eyes are watering-
--I only wish it was because someone had poked you in one of them.

Hope & Change

Election 2008

Former comedian, Al Franken, fails to see the humor in his loss for Minnesota Senate seat.

How funny is that!

Election 2008

Barack Obama elected president of United States.
National holiday Kenya!

I have no idea what a national holiday in Kenya is like, but I'm guessing it's like a regular day, only with the ululating more subdued.

The Biggest Loser?

It occurred to me last night, watching Obama and Biden onstage together after Obama's victory speech, that Joe Biden had just become the most irrelevant man on the planet.

Poor fellow.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Mr Buckley Is Bitter

Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part III

CB: Rush Limbaugh proudly showed off his $450,000 Maybach car.
--Is there a chance it could have been a $450,000 Maybach anything else?

CB: I declined, partly on the grounds that Mother Church-
--Whoa! Hold everything! They haven’t excommunicated you yet?

CB: My father’s corpse was still warm.
--What, were you keeping him under one those fast food heat lamps?

CB: I have to date not tasted moose meat and hope never to, unless it is served to me at La Grenouille, by Charles Masson, personally and under glass.
--Can’t get a table at Per Se, huh?

CB: I received a pink slip from NR.
--You did not receive a pink slip from NR. You tenured your resignation, and it was accepted. Stop playing the Democrat, er, I mean victim.

CB: Obama…thinks clearly.
--Prove it.

CB: I like this seriatim thing.
--Me too!

CB: Saturday’s New York Times notes that “Mrs. Palin’s [religious] faith has come under scrutiny after two videos taken in her former church surfaced on YouTube and became immediate sensations. The first showed a visiting preacher from Kenya praying fervently over Ms. Palin in a gravelly voice and asking God to favor her campaign for governor and protect her from ‘every form of witchcraft.’”
--Um, yeah, great non sequitor. But I’ll play along.
Would you have preferred Jeremiah Wright?
Did the NY Times also write that Obama’s Kenyan village has set aside a sacrificial bull in the event of his victory? Or that "believers across Kenya are praying for Barack Obama—literally? They’re making sacrificial offerings to help ensure his victory." Or that "one preacher says his church is engaged in “spiritual warfare” to ensure Obama is victorious?" Or that "Ngebe, the preacher, said a prayer in the village before Obama spoke there and laid hands upon the senator, who he believes is anointed by God for electoral victory?"
No, I didn’t think so.

CB: Legerdemain (a French-English word meaning “horseshit.” )
--FINALLY! You’ve written something funny.

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Case Against Barack Obama

He has not been forthcoming.
I know, not unusual for a politician; but Mr Obama has not been forthcoming about some particularly nasty characters:

1)The reverend Jeremiah Wright, an anti-American, and a race-baiter.

2) William Ayers, an unrepentant domestic terrorist, and anti-American.

3) Bernardine Dohrn, see 2) above.

4) Rashid Khalidi, an anti-Semite.

5) ACORN, election fraud experts.

Mr Obama has much too little to say about his relationships with those listed above.

His lack of -at the very least-associations with centrists.
Doesn't he know anybody, just by accident, who's not a radical leftist?

He's yet to release, or allow the release, of his college grades and/or transcripts.
Why the secretiveness?

I won't even mention the whole wealth redistribution thing.
(Remind me not to do that).

He wishes to raise taxes and impose protective tariffs: a recipe for a deep recession, or worse.

He thought Iran was a tiny country.
Which, pretty much, makes him at least as dumb as Sarah Palin.

He says creepy things:
"I feel we have a righteous wind at our backs."
Mao: The righteous wind of socialism is on the rise.

"When did they decide to make a virtue out of selfishness?" In reference to McCain & Palin objecting to his tax increases.
Ayn Rand title, The Virtue Of Selfishness.

Coincidences? Maybe. But, maybe not.

Anyway, he won't be getting my vote.
Unless, of course, ACORN has me registered in Ohio, where I've already voted!

Hope & Change

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Mr Buckley Will Have Cheese With His Whine

Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part II

CB: My last posting in which I endorsed Obama, has brought about a very heaping helping of fresh hell.
--This “hell” has been served up by the Right, of course. The Godless Left could not care less.
Well, honestly, what did you expect?

CB: The only thing the Right can’t quite decide is whether I should be boiled in oil or simply put up against a wall and shot.
--Oh, I bet they could decide if it were put to a vote.

CB: I had gone out of my way in my endorsement to say that I was not doing it in the pages of National Review because of the experience of my colleague, Kathleen Parker. Kathleen had written that Sarah Palin was an embarrassment which brought 12,000 livid emails, among them one suggesting that Kathleen’s mother ought to have aborted her and tossed the fetus into a dumpster.
--Yeah, we know; this is second time you've mentioned it. You really need to man-up.
Though, I’ve always suspected that your constitution is as delicate as your hair.

CB: Within hours of my endorsement it becamee clear that National Review had a serious problem.
--Yeah, you.

CB: I thought the only decent thing to do would be to offer my resignation. This offer was accepted-rather briskly!
--This is a Laugh Out Loud moment…for me.
So much for decency, huh, Chris.

CB: But I will admit to a certain sadness that an act of publishing a reasoned argument for the opposition should result in acrimony and disavowal.
--Read your endorsement again, then read it again.
At its best, it is ILL-reasoned, and a rather weak argument.

CB: My father endorsed Allard K Lowenstein.
CB: Joe Lieberman.
CB: One of his closest friends in the world was John Kenneth Galbraith.
CB: Said it was time America had a black president.
--So what.
Accepting all of the above, nothing short of a DNA test is going to convince me that you are your father’s son.

CB: He came out for the legalization of drugs, hardly a conservative position.
--Hardly a liberal position, either. But certainly a Libertarian one.

CB: The GOP likes to say it is a big tent. Looks more like a yurt to me.

CB: So, I have been effectively fatwahed.
--Maybe now you can swap stories with Salman Rushdie, a real writer.

CB: I no longer have any clear idea what the modern conservative movement stands for.
--Don’t worry. After four years of Obama, you’ll have an excellent idea what the modern liberal movement stands for.

CB: So, to paraphrase a real conservative, Ronald Reagan…
--I accept this as your confession to not being a real conservative.

Hope & Change

Saturday, November 1, 2008


"The case, the race, and a hope for grace," rhymes P. Noony, as the subtitle for her article.

However, she lets us know early on, writing, "The case for Barack, in broad strokes," that the (conservative) case for Mr Obama is so thin that it won't include any niggling specifics or details.

What we get, instead, is narrative.
In case you are not aware: narrative begins where qualification ends.

But, on with it.

Ms Noonan begins, "He has within him the ability to change the direction and tone of American foreign policy.
I agree. That is, I agree if by "changing the direction of American foreign policy" Ms Noonan means "allowing Iran to acquire nuclear arms and rid the world of Israel."

She continues, "His rise will serve as a practical rebuke of the past five years, which need rebuking."
Again, I agree. But the rebuke required is a Libertarian, not a Socialist, one.

Then, feeling she can already outdo herself, she writes, "His victory would provide a fresh start in a nation where a fresh start would be a national relief." (Yeah, market capitalism is getting boring; let's try central planning!)
Once again, I have to agree. If by "relief" Ms Noonan means his promise to relieve us of our hard earned dollars via higher taxes.

But she hasn't outdone herself; not by a longshot.

She avers, "He shows good judgment in terms of whom to hire and consult."
This woman wrote speeches for Ronald Reagan?
Lady, he hired Joe Biden and consulted Franklin Raines.
Maybe you should read the Wall Street Journal instead of write for it.

Now, she's beginning to hit her stride:
"A great moment: When the press was hitting hard on the pregnancy of Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter, he did not respond with a politically shrewd "I have no comment," or "We shouldn't judge." Instead he said, "My mother had me when she was 18," which shamed the press and others into silence. He showed grace when he didn't have to."
This is dreamy, sentimental nonsense.
Mr Obama was merely being his usual politically savvy self.
He didn't shame his press confederates into anything. He simply signalled to them that he too was vulnerable on this one, and to drop it.
Though I will give him credit for not denying his mother, as he denied Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, his connection to ACORN, etc., ad nauseum.

More dreaminess follows, as Ms Noonan reaches her nadir:
"There is something else. On Feb. 5, Super Tuesday, Mr. Obama won the Alabama primary with 56% to Hillary Clinton's 42%. That evening, a friend watched the victory speech on TV in his suburban den. His 10-year-old daughter walked in, saw on the screen "Obama Wins" and "Alabama." She said, "Daddy, we saw a documentary on Martin Luther King Day in school." She said, "That's where they used the hoses." Suddenly my friend saw it new. Birmingham, 1963, and the water hoses used against the civil rights demonstrators. And now look, the black man thanking Alabama for his victory.
This means nothing? This means a great deal."
I told you the case was thin, but this is truly stretching it.
I simply point you to Mr Obama's brother in Kenya and aunt in Boston.
Mr Obama has lifted exactly no one, but himself, up in his entire life.
Credit someone for this county continuing to rise to its greatness, but do not give credit where no credit is due.

So, the narrative ends.
And for the most part, it's not even his.
It's someone else attemtping to fill Mr Obama's empty suit.

Ms Noonan fails to convince.
Though, she wasn't really trying, was she?