Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part I
(As I plan to make this my new hobby)
A Point By Point Response To Mr Buckley’s Endorsement of Barack Obama:
CB: Let me be the latest conservative/libertarian/whatever to leap onto the Barack Obama bandwagon…
--Not quite the trendsetter your father was, huh?
CB: The only reason my vote would be of any interest to anyone is that my last name is Buckley-a name I inherited.
--Nothing quite as pathetic as humility in the form of an apology.
CB: …drum roll, please, cue trumpets…
--Cue feeble, embarrassed laughter echoing in a crowded room.
CB: …Sarah Palin is an embarrassment , and a dangerous one at that.
--Dangerous!? Wow. You really are a humorist. Or, you’re stealing Kathleen Parker’s best stuff.
CB: There’s Socratic dialogue for you.
--Ya know, if Socrates couldn’t be bothered to write down what he thought and said, then why should anybody be bothered to reference his lazy ass. Apologies to Plato, of course.
CB: I wrote a well-received speech for [John McCain].
--Bet you don’t get that gig again.
CB: I’m beginning to sound like Paul Krugman.
--Yeah, you are beginning to sound like Paul Krugman. All the more reason for you to shut the hell up.
CB: I don’t-still-doubt that McCain’s instincts remain fundamentally conservative.
--So, naturally, you’d thought you’d vote for the liberal. (I’m ignoring the “But the problem is otherwise” part of your post).
CB: We are jerks.
--Well, you are.
CB: God, [John McCain] should be president someday.
--Well, that someday is November 4th. Vote early, vote often and vote everywhere…according to ACORN.
CB: [John McCain] makes unrealistic promises.
--Oh, heaven forfend! A politician making unrealistic promises. That doesn’t remind me of anyone.
CB: …there was the Palin nomination. What on earth can he have been thinking?
--My guess is he was thinking same thing you were thinking in endorsing Mr Obama: How can I ingratiate myself with a group of people who otherwise have no use for me?
CB: Senator Obama…has exhibited…a first-class temperament.
--I’m still waiting for the compelling part of this endorsement.
CB: As for [Mr Obama’s] intellect, well, he’s a Harvard man…
--Oh! Well! I’ll be sure to infer from that that he’s a fucking genius then!
--Nice use of a word no longer general use.
CB: I’ve read Obama’s books, and they are first-rate.
--Still waiting for that compelling part.
CB: ..rara avis…
--It occurs to me: why didn’t you write this entire endorsement in Latin; or, is it not possible to translate this much nonsense and bullshit into Latin?
CB: I am a small government conservative who clings tenaciously-
--LOL. I didn’t even bother reading the rest of that sentence.
CB: I believe with my friend and epigrammatic friend P.J. O’Rourke…
--This puts a smile on my face. Because it reminds me how much funnier Parliament Of Whores was than anything you’ve ever written.
CB: But having a first-class temperament and a first-class intellect, President Obama will surely understand that traditional left-politics aren’t going to get us out of this pit we’ve dug for ourselves.
--Hey, look! You’ve just written your own epitaph.
CB: (I pray, secularly)…
--God doesn’t listen to secular prayers.
CB: If he raises taxes…
--IF!? Must be the humorist in you, again.
CB: [Barack Obama] is…what the historical moment seems to be calling for.
--Then the historical moment is an idiot.
Hope and Change!
Separate But Equal Is Best Scenario
4 years ago