A HOPE & A (SECULAR) PRAYER

Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part I
(As I plan to make this my new hobby)

A Point By Point Response To Mr Buckley’s Endorsement of Barack Obama:

CB: Let me be the latest conservative/libertarian/whatever to leap onto the Barack Obama bandwagon…
--Not quite the trendsetter your father was, huh?

CB: The only reason my vote would be of any interest to anyone is that my last name is Buckley-a name I inherited.
--Nothing quite as pathetic as humility in the form of an apology.

CB: …drum roll, please, cue trumpets…
--Cue feeble, embarrassed laughter echoing in a crowded room.

CB: …Sarah Palin is an embarrassment , and a dangerous one at that.
--Dangerous!? Wow. You really are a humorist. Or, you’re stealing Kathleen Parker’s best stuff.

CB: There’s Socratic dialogue for you.
--Ya know, if Socrates couldn’t be bothered to write down what he thought and said, then why should anybody be bothered to reference his lazy ass. Apologies to Plato, of course.

CB: I wrote a well-received speech for [John McCain].
--Bet you don’t get that gig again.

CB: I’m beginning to sound like Paul Krugman.
--Yeah, you are beginning to sound like Paul Krugman. All the more reason for you to shut the hell up.

CB: I don’t-still-doubt that McCain’s instincts remain fundamentally conservative.
--So, naturally, you’d thought you’d vote for the liberal. (I’m ignoring the “But the problem is otherwise” part of your post).

CB: We are jerks.
--Well, you are.

CB: God, [John McCain] should be president someday.
--Well, that someday is November 4th. Vote early, vote often and vote everywhere…according to ACORN.

CB: [John McCain] makes unrealistic promises.
--Oh, heaven forfend! A politician making unrealistic promises. That doesn’t remind me of anyone.

CB: …there was the Palin nomination. What on earth can he have been thinking?
--My guess is he was thinking same thing you were thinking in endorsing Mr Obama: How can I ingratiate myself with a group of people who otherwise have no use for me?

CB: Senator Obama…has exhibited…a first-class temperament.
--I’m still waiting for the compelling part of this endorsement.

CB: As for [Mr Obama’s] intellect, well, he’s a Harvard man…
--Oh! Well! I’ll be sure to infer from that that he’s a fucking genius then!

CB: …Mesopotamia…
--Nice use of a word no longer general use.

CB: I’ve read Obama’s books, and they are first-rate.
--Still waiting for that compelling part.

CB: ..rara avis…
--It occurs to me: why didn’t you write this entire endorsement in Latin; or, is it not possible to translate this much nonsense and bullshit into Latin?

CB: I am a small government conservative who clings tenaciously-
--LOL. I didn’t even bother reading the rest of that sentence.

CB: I believe with my friend and epigrammatic friend P.J. O’Rourke…
--This puts a smile on my face. Because it reminds me how much funnier Parliament Of Whores was than anything you’ve ever written.

CB: But having a first-class temperament and a first-class intellect, President Obama will surely understand that traditional left-politics aren’t going to get us out of this pit we’ve dug for ourselves.
--Hey, look! You’ve just written your own epitaph.

CB: (I pray, secularly)…
--God doesn’t listen to secular prayers.

CB: If he raises taxes…
--IF!? Must be the humorist in you, again.

CB: [Barack Obama] is…what the historical moment seems to be calling for.
--Then the historical moment is an idiot.

Hope and Change!

SONOFABUCKLEY!

Christoper Buckley's Ill-Reasoned Endorsement of Barack Obama

Wow!

It didn't take long, after the death of his father, conservative icon William F Buckley Jr., for Christopher Buckley to lose his sense of direction:

No sooner had he endorsed a Democrat, than he quit his job!

Seems the ways of the Left are quickly learned, and certainly not lost, on young Buck.

Likely, that whole wealth redistribution scheme is sounding pretty good to him right about now.

But as to that endorsement...

Well, not quite yet.

Seems of the 1400 words--purportedly written to make public his support of Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama, Mr Buckley could find only about 400 to serve that end.

The first 150 or so are spent explaining why he's not important, and lamenting the possibility that he--like Kathleen Parker, who has received some hate email from right-wing "kooks,"

i.e. those who take issue with Ms Parker's criticism of Sarah Palin--might suffer a similar fate...or easily deletable cyber deluge.
Cry me a river.

The next 300 are spent opining that his father "spent his life time separating the Right from the kooks."
Christo has done more--separating himself from the Right and the kooks--in half the time.
Well done!

The next 550 are used to explain why he cannot bring himself to vote for Mr McCain. I'll save you the trouble: he believes Mr McCain has become inauthentic. You know, because he makes unrealistic promises (hmm, that doesn't remind me of every other candidate); irascible; and, he chose as his running mate someone who's more comfortable at a fish fry (or its moose equivalent) than a snooty cocktail party, where are all the punchlines are in French.

Now, to those final 400.
And, again, I'll save you the trouble:
By way of directly endorsing the candidate, Mr Buckley has exactly the following to say regarding Mr Obama: 1) he's been to Harvard, and 2) he's written a couple of books.
Take some time to catch your breath here.

He then endorses Mr Obama's "fine temperament."
If by temperament Mr Buckley means the criminal ability to utterly disassociate yourself from the truth, your past, and the present prevarications your uttering, then I'll have to agree with him, Mr Obama has a "fine temperament."

Mr Buckley really exerts no more effort than that in making the case for his man.

And then ends with the tragically whimsical musing, "He is, it seems clear enough, what the historical moment seems to be calling for."

If Barack Obama is what the historical moment is calling for, then Christopher Buckley should be standing athwart that moment and yelling, "Stop!"

Alas, he is doing the opposite

JOHN MCCAIN & NATIONAL REVIEW

When will National Review stand athwart John McCain and yell, "Stop!"?

Hopefully not before he buys my mortgage.

JOE BIDEN CAN'T COUNT

Democratic Vice-Presidential Candidate/Master Counter Joe Biden recently said, "I have three letters for you, J-O-B-S!"

Yeah, hey, Joe, I have three letters for you: D-U-M-B!

THE GREAT FINANCIAL CRISIS THAT NEVER WAS

The market will bottom out at 7,500.

At that point, people, as they've already come to mildly suspect, will begin to become even more convinced that things really are not that bad. Not "UNPRECEDENTED-FINANCIAL-CRISIS-SECOND-GREAT-DEPRESSION" bad, anyway.

Already, this Great Financial Crisis is failing to take shape:
Richard Fuld hasn't jumped from a window, not even a ground level window.
There hasn't been a run on the Bailey Bros. Building & Loan.
No one is giving up their cell phone, nor cancelling the text messaging package.
And everything, even...HOUSES! are still being bought and sold.

Besides, Americans now lack the intestinal and testicular fortitude to get through another Great Depression.

Things will get better.

And remember, Market Capitalism is smarter than you.

WHO CAUSED THE FINANCIAL CRISIS OF 2008?

You did. Well, you and your deadbeat friends.
And whoever loaned you the money that you're not paying back.

But hey, have a great foreclosure!

JOE BIDEN SHOT DOWN BY TERRORISTS

Delaware Senator/Democratic Vice-Presidential candidate/Lunatic Joe Biden keeps saying his helicopter was forced down on the Super Highway of Terror.
Wow! That would be scary...if it had actually happened as Mr Biden would have us infer it happened. But it didn't.
No, seems his helicopter encountered some inclement weather, snow, and had to set down for awhile. Until it stopped snowing.

Snow is nothing like bullets.

Unless you're Joe Biden.

Hope & Change.

SARAH PALIN SPEAKS GIBBERISH

When asked if she supported the $770 million dollar bailout, Sarah Palin attempted to say the following,
"What the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform. It has to be all about job creation, too; so, healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany the reductions and tax relief for Americans."

Yeah, I had no idea what she was talking about either.

Usually, you know a politican is lying to you.
But with Ms Palin it's impossible to know what she's lying to you about.