Sarah Palin Attends Ritual Slaying Of Birds

I guess there's a furor over a video circulating of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin being interviewed while, in the background, turkeys are being slaughtered for that grand American tradition of Thanksgiving.
I don't have time to investigate the story -no, that's not true, I have plenty of time; it's the inclination I don't have- so I'll just assume a couple of facts, then make some sweeping generalizations based on those assumptions.

I've seen the video, and my first thought was, Don't overcook your bird.
There's nothing worse than 20 people -some who have traveled thousands of miles- sitting around a table eating a dried out turkey. So, baste, baste, baste!

My second thought was, I love deviled eggs!

But, I digress.

First of all, the video isn't really funny,
Which is not to say that it didn't have some comic potential.
I would have had the Governor conduct the interview while she was slaughtering and dressing the birds. Just nonchalantly discussing policy as feathers fly.

Nor is anything infuriating about the video.
Without consulting a dictionary, I'm assuming that furor and infuriating are related.

I'm also assuming that those upset by the video are PETA types, Christopher Buckley, and Kathleen Parker.
I'm not sure what Mr Buckley and Ms Parker will be eating this Thursday, but I am certain that they'd love to see Mrs Palin's goose cooked!

Oh, well.
Let 'em eat cake!

Mr Buckley's Public Valentine To Sarah Palin

Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part V

Mr Buckley Is Obsessed

Never has a man been so obsessed with a woman without there eventually being a restraining order involved.

CB: As I type, a boatload of Bigfoot conservatives are aboard a cruise ship…
--Oh, c’mon, Chris. It could not have a come as a surprise that you weren’t invited to the National Review cruise.

CB: GOP pin-up girl Sarah Palin.
--Indeed! And the Democrats’ pin-up girl? Nancy Pelosi. Yes, cringe-worthy.

CB: I’ll stipulate that that’s condescending…
--No stipulation is necessary.

CB: Nexis and Google have failed to unearth evidence of any previous candidate for the US vice presidency being called by their own campaign, no less, a whack job.
--Which speaks more to Mr McCain’s campaign than it does to Ms Palin. Hey, you’re the one who had dinner with the guy.

CB: Gov. Palin…prepositionally challenged…
--Now, Chris, if you’re going to call it satire, you really should reach higher than this. You’re dangerously close to becoming Bill Maher.

CB: To quote the incomparable Christopher Hitchens.
--Oh, I can compare him to something!

CB: It would be pointless, to say nothing of downright idiotic…
--But you’re doing so well!

CB: Mike Huckabee, I believe Mr Hitchens dismissed him as a clown.
--Chris, please, give us an original thought. Or, at least link us to Mr Hitchens.

CB: In the special election to fill his Senate seat, Gov. Palin would be the likely winner…greatly enlivening things for those of us who make our living amidst the dark Satanic Beltway mills.
--The moment at which Christopher Buckley becomes a stalker.

Play Misty For Me

Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part IV


CB: (On Obama's victory) Okay, okay. Forgive me for being a bit giddy.
--I'm beginning to think you have a crush on Mr Obama.

CB: I must soon revert to my quondam role as abuser and ridiculer of those in power.
--That's not gonna get you your job back at National Review.

CB: Man, that son-of-a-gun can give a speech.
--Get a tingle up your leg?


CB: I can hardly wait for the inaugural.
--Oh, I'm sure you're invited, Judas.


CB: You make -this is absurd, my eyes are watering-
--I only wish it was because someone had poked you in one of them.

Hope & Change

Mr Buckley Is Bitter

Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part III

CB: Rush Limbaugh proudly showed off his $450,000 Maybach car.
--Is there a chance it could have been a $450,000 Maybach anything else?

CB: I declined, partly on the grounds that Mother Church-
--Whoa! Hold everything! They haven’t excommunicated you yet?

CB: My father’s corpse was still warm.
--What, were you keeping him under one those fast food heat lamps?

CB: I have to date not tasted moose meat and hope never to, unless it is served to me at La Grenouille, by Charles Masson, personally and under glass.
--Can’t get a table at Per Se, huh?

CB: I received a pink slip from NR.
--You did not receive a pink slip from NR. You tenured your resignation, and it was accepted. Stop playing the Democrat, er, I mean victim.

CB: Obama…thinks clearly.
--Prove it.

CB: I like this seriatim thing.
--Me too!

CB: Saturday’s New York Times notes that “Mrs. Palin’s [religious] faith has come under scrutiny after two videos taken in her former church surfaced on YouTube and became immediate sensations. The first showed a visiting preacher from Kenya praying fervently over Ms. Palin in a gravelly voice and asking God to favor her campaign for governor and protect her from ‘every form of witchcraft.’”
--Um, yeah, great non sequitor. But I’ll play along.
Would you have preferred Jeremiah Wright?
Did the NY Times also write that Obama’s Kenyan village has set aside a sacrificial bull in the event of his victory? Or that "believers across Kenya are praying for Barack Obama—literally? They’re making sacrificial offerings to help ensure his victory." Or that "one preacher says his church is engaged in “spiritual warfare” to ensure Obama is victorious?" Or that "Ngebe, the preacher, said a prayer in the village before Obama spoke there and laid hands upon the senator, who he believes is anointed by God for electoral victory?"
No, I didn’t think so.

CB: Legerdemain (a French-English word meaning “horseshit.” )
--FINALLY! You’ve written something funny.

Mr Buckley Will Have Cheese With His Whine

Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part II

CB: My last posting in which I endorsed Obama, has brought about a very heaping helping of fresh hell.
--This “hell” has been served up by the Right, of course. The Godless Left could not care less.
Well, honestly, what did you expect?

CB: The only thing the Right can’t quite decide is whether I should be boiled in oil or simply put up against a wall and shot.
--Oh, I bet they could decide if it were put to a vote.

CB: I had gone out of my way in my endorsement to say that I was not doing it in the pages of National Review because of the experience of my colleague, Kathleen Parker. Kathleen had written that Sarah Palin was an embarrassment which brought 12,000 livid emails, among them one suggesting that Kathleen’s mother ought to have aborted her and tossed the fetus into a dumpster.
--Yeah, we know; this is second time you've mentioned it. You really need to man-up.
Though, I’ve always suspected that your constitution is as delicate as your hair.

CB: Within hours of my endorsement it becamee clear that National Review had a serious problem.
--Yeah, you.

CB: I thought the only decent thing to do would be to offer my resignation. This offer was accepted-rather briskly!
--This is a Laugh Out Loud moment…for me.
So much for decency, huh, Chris.

CB: But I will admit to a certain sadness that an act of publishing a reasoned argument for the opposition should result in acrimony and disavowal.
--Read your endorsement again, then read it again.
At its best, it is ILL-reasoned, and a rather weak argument.

CB: My father endorsed Allard K Lowenstein.
--Okay.
CB: Joe Lieberman.
--Right.
CB: One of his closest friends in the world was John Kenneth Galbraith.
--Mm-hmm.
CB: Said it was time America had a black president.
--So what.
Accepting all of the above, nothing short of a DNA test is going to convince me that you are your father’s son.

CB: He came out for the legalization of drugs, hardly a conservative position.
--Hardly a liberal position, either. But certainly a Libertarian one.

CB: The GOP likes to say it is a big tent. Looks more like a yurt to me.
--Commie.

CB: So, I have been effectively fatwahed.
--Maybe now you can swap stories with Salman Rushdie, a real writer.

CB: I no longer have any clear idea what the modern conservative movement stands for.
--Don’t worry. After four years of Obama, you’ll have an excellent idea what the modern liberal movement stands for.

CB: So, to paraphrase a real conservative, Ronald Reagan…
--I accept this as your confession to not being a real conservative.

Hope & Change

A HOPE & A (SECULAR) PRAYER

Making Fun Of Christopher Buckley: Part I
(As I plan to make this my new hobby)

A Point By Point Response To Mr Buckley’s Endorsement of Barack Obama:

CB: Let me be the latest conservative/libertarian/whatever to leap onto the Barack Obama bandwagon…
--Not quite the trendsetter your father was, huh?

CB: The only reason my vote would be of any interest to anyone is that my last name is Buckley-a name I inherited.
--Nothing quite as pathetic as humility in the form of an apology.

CB: …drum roll, please, cue trumpets…
--Cue feeble, embarrassed laughter echoing in a crowded room.

CB: …Sarah Palin is an embarrassment , and a dangerous one at that.
--Dangerous!? Wow. You really are a humorist. Or, you’re stealing Kathleen Parker’s best stuff.

CB: There’s Socratic dialogue for you.
--Ya know, if Socrates couldn’t be bothered to write down what he thought and said, then why should anybody be bothered to reference his lazy ass. Apologies to Plato, of course.

CB: I wrote a well-received speech for [John McCain].
--Bet you don’t get that gig again.

CB: I’m beginning to sound like Paul Krugman.
--Yeah, you are beginning to sound like Paul Krugman. All the more reason for you to shut the hell up.

CB: I don’t-still-doubt that McCain’s instincts remain fundamentally conservative.
--So, naturally, you’d thought you’d vote for the liberal. (I’m ignoring the “But the problem is otherwise” part of your post).

CB: We are jerks.
--Well, you are.

CB: God, [John McCain] should be president someday.
--Well, that someday is November 4th. Vote early, vote often and vote everywhere…according to ACORN.

CB: [John McCain] makes unrealistic promises.
--Oh, heaven forfend! A politician making unrealistic promises. That doesn’t remind me of anyone.

CB: …there was the Palin nomination. What on earth can he have been thinking?
--My guess is he was thinking same thing you were thinking in endorsing Mr Obama: How can I ingratiate myself with a group of people who otherwise have no use for me?

CB: Senator Obama…has exhibited…a first-class temperament.
--I’m still waiting for the compelling part of this endorsement.

CB: As for [Mr Obama’s] intellect, well, he’s a Harvard man…
--Oh! Well! I’ll be sure to infer from that that he’s a fucking genius then!

CB: …Mesopotamia…
--Nice use of a word no longer general use.

CB: I’ve read Obama’s books, and they are first-rate.
--Still waiting for that compelling part.

CB: ..rara avis…
--It occurs to me: why didn’t you write this entire endorsement in Latin; or, is it not possible to translate this much nonsense and bullshit into Latin?

CB: I am a small government conservative who clings tenaciously-
--LOL. I didn’t even bother reading the rest of that sentence.

CB: I believe with my friend and epigrammatic friend P.J. O’Rourke…
--This puts a smile on my face. Because it reminds me how much funnier Parliament Of Whores was than anything you’ve ever written.

CB: But having a first-class temperament and a first-class intellect, President Obama will surely understand that traditional left-politics aren’t going to get us out of this pit we’ve dug for ourselves.
--Hey, look! You’ve just written your own epitaph.

CB: (I pray, secularly)…
--God doesn’t listen to secular prayers.

CB: If he raises taxes…
--IF!? Must be the humorist in you, again.

CB: [Barack Obama] is…what the historical moment seems to be calling for.
--Then the historical moment is an idiot.

Hope and Change!

SONOFABUCKLEY!

Christoper Buckley's Ill-Reasoned Endorsement of Barack Obama

Wow!

It didn't take long, after the death of his father, conservative icon William F Buckley Jr., for Christopher Buckley to lose his sense of direction:

No sooner had he endorsed a Democrat, than he quit his job!

Seems the ways of the Left are quickly learned, and certainly not lost, on young Buck.

Likely, that whole wealth redistribution scheme is sounding pretty good to him right about now.

But as to that endorsement...

Well, not quite yet.

Seems of the 1400 words--purportedly written to make public his support of Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama, Mr Buckley could find only about 400 to serve that end.

The first 150 or so are spent explaining why he's not important, and lamenting the possibility that he--like Kathleen Parker, who has received some hate email from right-wing "kooks,"

i.e. those who take issue with Ms Parker's criticism of Sarah Palin--might suffer a similar fate...or easily deletable cyber deluge.
Cry me a river.

The next 300 are spent opining that his father "spent his life time separating the Right from the kooks."
Christo has done more--separating himself from the Right and the kooks--in half the time.
Well done!

The next 550 are used to explain why he cannot bring himself to vote for Mr McCain. I'll save you the trouble: he believes Mr McCain has become inauthentic. You know, because he makes unrealistic promises (hmm, that doesn't remind me of every other candidate); irascible; and, he chose as his running mate someone who's more comfortable at a fish fry (or its moose equivalent) than a snooty cocktail party, where are all the punchlines are in French.

Now, to those final 400.
And, again, I'll save you the trouble:
By way of directly endorsing the candidate, Mr Buckley has exactly the following to say regarding Mr Obama: 1) he's been to Harvard, and 2) he's written a couple of books.
Take some time to catch your breath here.

He then endorses Mr Obama's "fine temperament."
If by temperament Mr Buckley means the criminal ability to utterly disassociate yourself from the truth, your past, and the present prevarications your uttering, then I'll have to agree with him, Mr Obama has a "fine temperament."

Mr Buckley really exerts no more effort than that in making the case for his man.

And then ends with the tragically whimsical musing, "He is, it seems clear enough, what the historical moment seems to be calling for."

If Barack Obama is what the historical moment is calling for, then Christopher Buckley should be standing athwart that moment and yelling, "Stop!"

Alas, he is doing the opposite